Reconnect With Your Spouse: 9 Ways To Keep Your Hearts Full In The Empty Nest

For some couples, the Empty Nest can be a trigger for relationship problems.

While this should be a happy time, the transition to the Empty Nest is full of mixed emotions! Suddenly there’s a big void that neither party really knows how to fill.

You’re likely happy about more time and freedom, but sad because you really miss the kids, and you realize that your family life, as you knew it, is about to change…forever.

Sadly, this is a time when many couples end their long relationship in divorce, with some claiming they “stayed together for the kids.”

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What Are 9 Ways To Survive The Empty Nest?

Ideally, a couple’s love story comes full circle:

Get Married
Have Fun With Each Other
Start A Family
Have Family Fun
Launch Your Birdies Out Of The Nest To Fly On Their Own
And Now It’s Just The Two Of You Again—Time For More Fun With Each Other!

The hard truth is that marriage takes work—in the beginning, the middle, and especially in the Empty Nester years.

As an Empty Nester Mom, after first reconnecting with yourself, the next step is to reconnect with your spouse. Reconnecting after empty nesting can be such a special time for couples, and we should embrace it!

Some couples don’t grow apart while busy raising their kids; but, unfortunately, many do.

However, there are a myriad of ways to come back together as a couple, once the kids are gone. Among others, following are nine ways to help keep your marriage going strong, long after the kids leave the nest.

1. Acknowledge It

The first step is to acknowledge the situation—address that big ol’ elephant in the room—how freakin’ weird it feels with the house so empty and quiet! This discussion will undoubtedly come up quite a few times, btw…until it finally sinks in!

You’re thinking about it a lot, and it’s highly likely that your spouse is, too. So, be the first to let it out, all your thoughts and feelings. You’ll make yourself feel better, and your spouse will be relieved to know that your feelings are mutual.

Then, once you get that out of your system, you can shift to talking about the kids. Celebrate a job well done—raising such great humans, how proud you are of their successes, and about your hopes for their future.

Sharing these feelings with each other will surely strengthen your emotional connection.

And then, when you’re done talking about the kids for awhile, it’s time to talk about yourselves, as a couple.

2. Make A List Of What You Used To Do For Fun

Start by taking a walk down memory lane, with a conversation about what attracted you to each other back when, and what brought you together as a couple.

You can do this by asking the following questions (this can be fun to see who remembers):

Where were you when you first met?
What were you doing?
Where did you go on your first date?
Once officially a couple, what kinds of things did you do for fun?
What did you have in common?
What hobbies did you share?
What were your favorite things to do together?
Etc.

Make a physical list of the things you used to do together, noting which ones each of you would like to do again (or more of). Going through this list of memories and shared favorites will help you reconnect with each other.

As examples, here’s some things my husband and I came up with:

Boating

Before we started our family, we did a lot of boating, crabbing, fishing, shrimping, and waverunning. We continued to do some boating with our kids, but once they started year-round sports, we weren’t able to go nearly as often.

After reminiscing about all the fun we used to have, we dubbed boating as one of the things we enjoyed doing together and want to do more of together. Since we have two different types of boats, and all the equipment for various activities, boating is at the top of our list!

If you want to get into boating, and need help buying a boat, this FREE worksheet can help.

Traveling

We used to be able to fly wherever we wanted, on a whim (which would sometimes turn out to be the most fun)! We’ve missed those days, and are now having fun traveling again, including exploring where we want to retire.

Also, during the summers, we used to love going on road trips, usually seeking sunshine! Along our way, we’d tour wineries, stocking up on bottles of our favorites and/or join their wine club.

We plan to visit more wineries again, and maybe even in other states during our travels. If you’re a wine lover, you may want to do the same. When we can’t get away, we stock up at Costco—they have some great wines, and with their buying power, some great prices, too!

RVing

We also went RVing/camping before starting a family, and later with the kids. This fun also fell to the wayside with the kids’ busy schedules. Plus, once they hit their teenage years, camping with the parents was no longer cool! Consequently, we sold our travel trailer, and we’re hoping to get another (smaller) RV in the future.

If you want to get into RVing, and need help buying an RV, this worksheet can help.

ATVing

Another fun thing we used to do was ride our Yamaha ATVs. We took them camping, rode them on seemingly endless trails in the foothills, in the snowy mountains, and on our own property. We had so much fun with them!

3. Make Date Night A Priority

Plan frequent date nights. Start by specifying a particular night of the week as your night out, and then throw in some unexpected surprise events to mix it up.

4. Create Simple Fun

Playing cards, board games, and having a movie night (with popcorn, of course) can sometimes be more fun than going out!

Tease each other like you used to do, and laugh at each other’s dumb jokes.

Do things that you know makes your spouse happy, like baking his favorites.

5. Tackle Projects Together

Work together on projects—from home remodels and landscaping, to travel plans—from start to finish. Dreaming, planning, and making decisions together makes a finished project so much more rewarding.

6. Try New Things Together

Make a list of new things you’d like to try, or places you’d like to go—such as hiking, biking, or a new travel destination.

7. Encourage Each Other

Whether it’s weight loss, a career change, going back to school, or starting a business, be there to support each other’s endeavors.

8. Spend Some Time Apart

This one is huge!

As important as it is to spend time together, spending time apart can be even more important! Each of you should take time to pursue your own interests/hobbies, and spend time with your individual friends. This will help to strengthen your relationship in so many ways.

9. Discuss Your Dreams For The Future

After reminiscing about how your love came to be, and working on ways to reconnect, it’s time to focus on your future plans for growing old together!

Start thinking about retiring, and whether you’ll downsize your home (in the same area or in another state), or age in place.

Conclusion

Reconnecting with your spouse to help survive the Empty Nest definitely takes time and effort. Hopefully, these nine tips will enable you to navigate your way through it all, so that you can live your Happy Ever After!

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