The kids are gone, the house is quiet, and you’re left staring out the window, wondering…
Where did everybody go?!
While reminiscing about all that’s happened inside the walls of your home, you realize how fast it all went.
POOF! The kids are grown and gone…just like that!
Your house is suddenly so much bigger, and a whole lot quieter. The old saying, “You could hear a pin drop” suddenly has real meaning!
Becoming an Empty Nester Mom is one of the many stages of life. This new season affects every Mom differently, leaving many of them searching for help to move forward.
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What Are 8 Tips To Help Moms Move Beyond The Empty Nest?
Some Empty Nester Moms are kicking up their heels with excitement about the soon-to-be Empty Nest, with visions of spare bedrooms and renovations dancing in their heads!
They’re looking forward to a cleaner house, going to any restaurant they want (when they want), and taking some long-awaited vacations for two.
On the contrary, some Moms are not so excited about the Empty Nest.
The following eight tips can help ease the transition into this new chapter of life:
1. Take It Slow
While going from a bustling household full of teens to the quiet Empty Nest, it’s important to gather yourself, take it slow, and allow yourself the time to adjust to your new life.
2. Acknowledge Your Empty Nester Feelings
When Birdies Fly, many Moms suffer from the common phenomenon, Empty Nest Syndrome.
Many Empty Nester Moms are quite saddened during this time in their lives.
After the kids leave, some Moms are often left feeling sad and lonely, while grieving the loss of a big part of their identity from the past 18+ years.
Remnants of their teen’s bedroom decor serve as a constant reminder, making them sad every time they walk by.
This is especially common for stay-at-home Moms because after everybody leaves, they’re suddenly left home all alone…with their grief. This can lead to increased anxiety and fear of not knowing how to fill the void.
Amidst all the quiet, it’s understandable that their sadness is met with worry about what to do next for work, as well as other areas of their life.
Before making any big decisions, however, it’s really important for all Empty Nester Moms to first check in with, and acknowledge, their emotions.
3. Take Time To Grieve
Empty Nester feelings are real, and more common than people might think. I’m a member of several Empty Nester Mom Facebook Groups, and noticed one Mom asked, “Why don’t people talk about this?!”
It’s true, there’s not a lot said about it. It’s like we’re just supposed to act like nothing’s changed, everything’s OK, when it’s really not.
In order to move forward, you definitely shouldn’t sweep your feelings under the carpet.
You need to allow time and space for your emotions.
I started getting emotional early on, during our son’s senior year of high school. I worked through my feelings and thought I was good to go.
Then, during the summer, as his college move-in date grew closer, I puddled up several different times again!
I thought I was prepared, but…
I was wrong!
I really didn’t anticipate being that emotional because I had read a lot about the Empty Nest, and talked with friends who had already transitioned to it.
Not only that, I had already gone through the move-out with our two older daughters. So, what the heck?!
But, this was different.
Our son was the last birdy set to fly, and the Empty Nest was imminent!
Just when I thought I’d shed all my tears prior to our son moving out, apparently there were a few drops held in reserve…well, maybe more than a few!
As I was getting ready to go that morning, the flood gates opened yet again! I couldn’t believe it.
I tried to wipe the tears away as quickly as they fell, so our son wouldn’t see them. This was his time, and I wanted it to be happy and fun for him.
I later learned that my feelings were very normal, and that I needed to work through them, so I could move forward with my life.
Years ago, while talking with a friend about the many stages of raising kids, she said, “It doesn’t get easier, it just gets different.” That’s so true and I’ve never forgotten it!
Becoming an Empty Nester Mom surely seems like it’d be an easier time of your life. I think it can be, to some extent, without the busy schedules, etc.
However, emotionally, it’s definitely not easy! Nobody tells you this stuff!
You’ll have good days and bad days, and with time you’ll eventually get through it. Don’t be surprised, however, if bouts of sadness sneak back up on you…when you least expect it!
After I endured a few months of off-and-on loneliness, tears, and not getting much done, one day it hit me!
Just as dropping our kids (uh, young adults) off at their dorms signifies new beginnings, adventures, and fun for them…this time can be just as exciting for us Empty Nester Moms!
So, take the time you need to grieve, but don’t stay there.
4. Find Ways To Fill The Empty Nester Void
Instead of pulling the covers over your head every morning, it’s better to find ways to help curb your sadness. For example:
- Reconnect with yourself and your spouse
- Visit extended family
- Rekindle old friendships
- Try to make new friends
- Watch new movies or comedy series
- Exercise
- Tackle To-Do lists
- Finish baby books and photo albums
- Garden
- Get back into old hobbies and fun activities
- Learn something new
- Volunteer your time
- Join clubs, groups, and memberships (in person and/or online)
5. Read Self-Help Books
Following is a list of books that can help you get through this new season of your life:
- Chicken Soup For The Soul: Empty Nesters Jack Canfield
- Empty Nest, Full Life Jill Savage
- Finding Joy In The Empty Nest Jim Burns, Ph.D
- From Mom To Me Again Melissa Shultz
- The Empty Nest Companion Susan Gross
Another good resource is this podcast episode. Love Mel Robbins!
6. Spend Time Focusing On Yourself
Like many Moms, you’ve spent so many years worrying about, and doing everything for, your children!
When Birdies Fly, it’s time to put the pieces of yourself back together again. Your role of being a mom will never be over, but this is a new season. Obviously, caring about your kids will never end, but right now you need to look yourself in the mirror and do a little soul searching.
So, mop up your tears and start thinking about yourself for a change!
Go ahead, do it, talk to yourself…out loud even!
7. Find Your Next For Work
After you’ve acknowledged and worked through your Empty Nester feelings, the next step is to Find Your Next for work.
Start by brainstorming about what you want your work life to look like, going forward.
But, rather than rushing into something, take your time and think about what you really want to do next.
Whether you were a stay-at-home Mom, or one who worked outside the home while raising your kids, now’s the time to explore your options!
Do you want to work for someone else, or
Be Your Own Boss?
If you haven’t already, grab this FREE Brainstorming Worksheet to help you decide:
Read more about what’s next for work here.
8. Find Your Next For Fun
As a new Empty Nester Mom, it’s not enough to figure out what you want to do next for work; having fun is equally important!
This is your time to reconnect with who and what you love.
The first step is to reconnect with yourself. Then, find different ways to reconnect with your spouse, as well as family and friends you haven’t seen in awhile.
Life is busy for all of us, which makes it easy to get bogged down with our day-to-day responsibilities. However, we need to make time for each other, especially in this phase of our lives.
Make a list of the reconnections you’d like to make, add to it later, and then slowly whittle away at your list. You’ll be glad you did, and so will others!
People always come first, but you also need to fill your life with enjoyable activities. Doing so will help you move beyond the Empty Nest.
Spend some time alone, and then with your spouse, to reminisce about the activities that brought you joy in the past.
Decide what you want to do more of, and what you’d like to start up again now that you have more time. Then, make plans to explore new things that you’ve always wanted to do.
Following are some fun ideas for your Empty Nester Life:
- Art
- Baking
- Biking
- Boating
- Camping
- Crabbing
- Crafts
- Dancing
- Exercising
- Fishing
- Gardening
- Golfing
- Hiking
- Painting
- Photography
- Reading
- RVing
- Sewing
- Shrimping
- Tennis
- Traveling
- Waverunning
- Writing
Grab your FREE EMPTY NESTER LIFE Bucket List, and fill it in with all the fun stuff you want to do.
Every couple’s list will be different. What’s on your list?
Moving Forward
Hopefully these tips will help you move forward in this new chapter of life. There is so much more for you out there…you just need to go find it!
This post can help:
Empty Nester Moms: How To Figure Out What To Do Next For Work
Related:
Empty Nester Moms: Now Is The Best Time To Start An Online Business
Find More Here:
YOUTUBE
How To Move Beyond The Empty Nest: 8 Tips For Moms
It’s Your Turn To Fly, Mama!
